I want to dedicate this to all of the wonderful husbands and fathers out there...
I married a saint. Or maybe he's a prince. Or maybe he's a gift from God. Whatever he is, he is amazing!
There are so many fabulous husbands/dads out there, and I hope yours is one of them. What would we do without them?
What would I do without:
...his undying and passionate love for me and the kids?
...his unconditional support?
...his help?
...his funny jokes?
...his quirky ways?
...his shoes and clothes all over the floor?
...his bad taste in movies?
...his kisses and scruffy beard?
...HIM?
My husband is an incredible man. My son has a phenomenal role-model, for which I am immensely thankful. If he grows up to be just like his Daddy, I will be the proudest mom on Earth.
So if your husband gives you massages on demand, runs to the store when you need a gallon of milk, makes you laugh with an impersonation of the kids, and his face lights up when you come home....stop reading this, and go give him a big kiss (or more)! :-)
I wish you the happiest marriage, so that you may raise the happiest kids!
-Barbara-
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Bye Baby!
My precious baby girl was born in October, 2008.
I took advantage of the FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) that protected my job for 12 weeks, and my boss was kind enough to give me an extra week off so I could enjoy the holidays with my family.
This week was my first week back at the office. I was thrilled to see my staff and colleagues. It was great to hear everyone's holiday stories and New Year's resolutions. It was nice to get dressed in work clothes again.
But I miss my baby!
The window in my office is covered with photos of my 4 year-old son. His big smile brightens my day, and I could just stare at him for hours. I will now further reduce the amount of sunlight coming into my office as I will surely cover another window with photos of his baby sister.
Along with returning to work, the "mom guilt" that I often refer to, sets in. I feel so guilty that I'm not home with her when she is only 3 months old.
I must say, my husband and I are lucky. We have the financial means to BOTH take unpaid time off of work. With that said, my husband is now on 12 weeks of FMLA. This will help us avoid placing her in daycare until she is 6 months old, and it certainly delays the additional "mom guilt" that I will inevitably experience once I place her in the hands of a stranger.
My morning routine has me waking up at 5:30am so that I can hit the gym before work. Before I leave, I stop into my son's room (unless he's in Mommy & Daddy's bed!) to make sure he is still tucked in and warm. I then go to the baby's room, and just stare at her through my tears. I cry thinking that the last time she heard her Mommy's voice was at 10:00 and she won't hear it again for 20 hours.
I remember feeling the same with my son. Or maybe it was worse because he was my first child. Either way, it's torture.
So as I type this entry on my laptop in bed, my son is sleeping next to me snoring mildly and I can hear the baby breathing over the baby monitor. And next to my son is my wonderful, wonderful husband.
I'm the luckiest mom in the world...if only I didn't have to work!
Good Night,
-Barbara-
I took advantage of the FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) that protected my job for 12 weeks, and my boss was kind enough to give me an extra week off so I could enjoy the holidays with my family.
This week was my first week back at the office. I was thrilled to see my staff and colleagues. It was great to hear everyone's holiday stories and New Year's resolutions. It was nice to get dressed in work clothes again.
But I miss my baby!
The window in my office is covered with photos of my 4 year-old son. His big smile brightens my day, and I could just stare at him for hours. I will now further reduce the amount of sunlight coming into my office as I will surely cover another window with photos of his baby sister.
Along with returning to work, the "mom guilt" that I often refer to, sets in. I feel so guilty that I'm not home with her when she is only 3 months old.
I must say, my husband and I are lucky. We have the financial means to BOTH take unpaid time off of work. With that said, my husband is now on 12 weeks of FMLA. This will help us avoid placing her in daycare until she is 6 months old, and it certainly delays the additional "mom guilt" that I will inevitably experience once I place her in the hands of a stranger.
My morning routine has me waking up at 5:30am so that I can hit the gym before work. Before I leave, I stop into my son's room (unless he's in Mommy & Daddy's bed!) to make sure he is still tucked in and warm. I then go to the baby's room, and just stare at her through my tears. I cry thinking that the last time she heard her Mommy's voice was at 10:00 and she won't hear it again for 20 hours.
I remember feeling the same with my son. Or maybe it was worse because he was my first child. Either way, it's torture.
So as I type this entry on my laptop in bed, my son is sleeping next to me snoring mildly and I can hear the baby breathing over the baby monitor. And next to my son is my wonderful, wonderful husband.
I'm the luckiest mom in the world...if only I didn't have to work!
Good Night,
-Barbara-
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thank You, Stranger!
Below is a letter I wrote when I was a new mom:
Next month, my little Matthew will celebrate his first birthday. I will confess that I never dreamed of becoming a mom, and when I learned I was pregnant, I was struck with panic. But little did I know, all the help that my husband and I would receive along the way.
On behalf of all moms and dads, I would like to say “Thank You” to everyone that has contributed in some way to our happiness as parents. I may not have thanked you along the way, so I would like to thank you now.
I would like to thank my family, my friends, other moms, and authors of pregnancy and parenting books for all of the solid advice. Your advice brought me comfort and peace of mind. You reassured me that I can do this…I can be a great mom. It turns out that you were all right, and I hope you will continue to share your advice and write books to help other future moms.
To all of the health care workers, including the obstetricians, maternity ward nurses, NICU nurses, pediatrician, cord blood storage companies, and lactation consultants, I would like to thank you for the great care that you gave to me and Matthew. Throughout all of our visits, you answered our questions and made us feel as though we were your only patients. You monitored our progress very closely, and as a result, despite being premature, Matthew is a very healthy baby.
My employer was equally wonderful. They never hesitated to give me the time off I needed for my doctor visits. When Matthew was born, I received numerous packages and well wishes from my co-workers. And when I took advantage of the FMLA benefits by taking 12 weeks off of work, my company was supportive. When I returned to work, I was still nursing, but my office was equipped with an area for my lactation needs. What a relief!
During my pregnancy and Matthew’s first year, we have used countless products that have made our lives easier and safer. Fashionable maternity clothes, lightweight strollers, safety cotton swabs, disposable diapers, baby swings, double-breast pumps that come in fashionable backpacks. This is a very short list of the many things that have helped us. And just when you think everything has been invented, something new is introduced. So to all who have invented these products…thank you. And keep inventing!
I would like to thank the many stores and restaurants that make it easy for us to enjoy an outing as a family. Parking for expectant moms, family restrooms equipped with a diaper changing area, high chairs, crayons, children’s meals, and play areas, are great features and enough to keep us coming back again and again.
Many, many thanks to all the strangers that have helped us along the way. We want to thank: the flight attendant who let me sit next to the lavatory for my frequent visits while pregnant, the gentleman who helped with my suitcases on that same trip, the man who ran to his car in the rain to lend me and Matthew an umbrella. And thank you to: the people who hold the door open when they see us coming with our stroller, the moms who smile when they see my baby, and the kids who want to play with Matthew. Thank you all so much.
Since Matthew is only one year old, we have years ahead that will undoubtedly produce many, many more people to thank. To the babysitters, school bus drivers, police officers, playground monitors, and every other person who will help me to keep my son safe from harm, I thank you in advance. To the school nurse, pediatrician, and food companies, I thank you in advance for helping me to keep him healthy. To his teachers, little league coach, mentors, and his future friends, I thank you in advance for giving my child the tools and the skills he needs to realize his dreams. And to every other person who will touch my son’s life, even in the smallest way, I thank you for you will all shape his life.
Thank You, Stranger!
-Barbara-
Next month, my little Matthew will celebrate his first birthday. I will confess that I never dreamed of becoming a mom, and when I learned I was pregnant, I was struck with panic. But little did I know, all the help that my husband and I would receive along the way.
On behalf of all moms and dads, I would like to say “Thank You” to everyone that has contributed in some way to our happiness as parents. I may not have thanked you along the way, so I would like to thank you now.
I would like to thank my family, my friends, other moms, and authors of pregnancy and parenting books for all of the solid advice. Your advice brought me comfort and peace of mind. You reassured me that I can do this…I can be a great mom. It turns out that you were all right, and I hope you will continue to share your advice and write books to help other future moms.
To all of the health care workers, including the obstetricians, maternity ward nurses, NICU nurses, pediatrician, cord blood storage companies, and lactation consultants, I would like to thank you for the great care that you gave to me and Matthew. Throughout all of our visits, you answered our questions and made us feel as though we were your only patients. You monitored our progress very closely, and as a result, despite being premature, Matthew is a very healthy baby.
My employer was equally wonderful. They never hesitated to give me the time off I needed for my doctor visits. When Matthew was born, I received numerous packages and well wishes from my co-workers. And when I took advantage of the FMLA benefits by taking 12 weeks off of work, my company was supportive. When I returned to work, I was still nursing, but my office was equipped with an area for my lactation needs. What a relief!
During my pregnancy and Matthew’s first year, we have used countless products that have made our lives easier and safer. Fashionable maternity clothes, lightweight strollers, safety cotton swabs, disposable diapers, baby swings, double-breast pumps that come in fashionable backpacks. This is a very short list of the many things that have helped us. And just when you think everything has been invented, something new is introduced. So to all who have invented these products…thank you. And keep inventing!
I would like to thank the many stores and restaurants that make it easy for us to enjoy an outing as a family. Parking for expectant moms, family restrooms equipped with a diaper changing area, high chairs, crayons, children’s meals, and play areas, are great features and enough to keep us coming back again and again.
Many, many thanks to all the strangers that have helped us along the way. We want to thank: the flight attendant who let me sit next to the lavatory for my frequent visits while pregnant, the gentleman who helped with my suitcases on that same trip, the man who ran to his car in the rain to lend me and Matthew an umbrella. And thank you to: the people who hold the door open when they see us coming with our stroller, the moms who smile when they see my baby, and the kids who want to play with Matthew. Thank you all so much.
Since Matthew is only one year old, we have years ahead that will undoubtedly produce many, many more people to thank. To the babysitters, school bus drivers, police officers, playground monitors, and every other person who will help me to keep my son safe from harm, I thank you in advance. To the school nurse, pediatrician, and food companies, I thank you in advance for helping me to keep him healthy. To his teachers, little league coach, mentors, and his future friends, I thank you in advance for giving my child the tools and the skills he needs to realize his dreams. And to every other person who will touch my son’s life, even in the smallest way, I thank you for you will all shape his life.
Thank You, Stranger!
-Barbara-
Saturday, December 27, 2008
In Search of the Perfect Child Care
In preparation for our upcoming move, my husband and I have begun searching for child care for both of our kids.
I must admit, that I become quite emotional at the idea of a starnger watching my kids. It kills me to think that someone else will spend more time with my children than I will spend every day. But I set aside my jealousy, and look for the best partner with whom to raise my children.
Because our daughter is an infant, we don't have to worry yet about things like physical activity, nap schedule, lunch menu, or teaching curriculum. On the other hand, because she is an infant, she can't tell me if someone failed to feed her or didn't change her diaper all day. I get knots in my stomach thinking of leaving my precious baby with a stranger. I suppose when I meet the perfect child care provider, my gut will tell me, and I will have to have faith.
My 3.5 year-old son is the smartest and most charming little boy I have ever known. For him, I need a school that will challenge him, and provide him with ample social opportunities. The qualifications of his "teacher" are extremely important. However, I find my son learns just as much, if not more, from his fellow classmates. For this reason, I now find myself asking questions about the other students. Is there a bully in the class? Are the students well-behaved? Is the class culturally diverse?
We have found the school for my son, but we are still searching for a perfect arrangement for our daughter. My son's school is very clean and very professional. The school does not provide lunch or snacks, so I will have to provide his food. What do I pack? PB&J sandwiches is the only thing that comes to mind that doesn't require cooking.
I wish that the two kids could attend the same facility so that my son could spend time with his baby sister during the day. But, because of their age difference and availability, they will attend separate facilities.
So the search continues, and so does my "mom guilt" for not being able to stay home to raise my children on my own, without the help of a stranger. But thank God for all the strangers that will come into our lives throughout their childhood that will make them who they will be.
Wish us luck!
-Barbara-
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
"Dead" & a 3 year-old
Picture this. I'm sitting on the living room floor with my 3 year old son as he is eating a gummi bear (it's actually a gummi vitamin, but he doesn't know that). He says "Mommy! Watch this!". I don't see much happening as I'm staring at him, until I realize what he's doing, and I ask "Did you just swallow that without chewing it?". He proudly says "Yeah. Isn't that cool?". I proceed to freak out and tell him never to do that again. When he asks his favorite question, "Why?" and asks if he would have to go to the hospital. I answered "No, you'd be dead."
Well, since then, my son has asked me numerous times about being dead. He asked if Superheroes or doctors can make him alive again after he is dead. He then asked if I will ever be dead. And then proceeded to ask about each family member one-by-one if they will ever be dead. I was hoping he wouldn't ask about the 18-year-old cat who likely will be dead soon. Suddenly he broke out in tears and cried uncontrollably saying he would miss me if I were dead. And pointed out that I wouldn't be able to kiss him or hug him if I were dead. And he went on and on about death.
Now, when he eats, he pulls up his shirt to ask me to look into his tummy to confirm that the food he just ate, is in fact, in his tummy. This way he knows it's not stuck in his throat and he's not going to die. What have I done?
So how do I undo this? And now that I've opened this can of worms, what do I tell this precious 3-year-old about death? I have tried reassuring him, but it doesn't seem to be working as he has now moved on to having these conversations with his dad.
Well, I must go finish wrapping his Christmas presents. I can't wait to see the look on his face Christmas morning.
Have a Merry Christmas,
-Barbara-
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Santa Claus vs. Jesus
I never realized how stressful it is to keep Santa's identity a secret. My son is now at the age where he knows who Santa Claus is and what he does. And like any good parent, I don't want to spoil anything for him. But, my son is just too smart...so I have to outsmart him.
How can Santa Claus be at the mall, at his school, and on every TV commercial at the same time?
If Santa brings the presents, why do we go Christmas shopping?
Why are the gifts wrapped in the wrapping paper that's been in the closet since last year?
How does Santa come in the house if we have no chimney?
Why do we need to donate toys to needy children if Santa delivers toys to all good children?
And then, how do you explain that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus, yet the star of the show seems to be Santa Claus? I'll tell you what I told my son...
Jesus and Santa Claus are "best buddies". All year, Jesus gives us gifts...like the baby sister that we just received. But for Jesus' birthday, Santa Claus gives him a rest and he takes over giving presents for just that one day.
And for this reason, we will not only put out cookies & milk for Santa Claus, we will also bake a birthday cake for Jesus and sing Happy Birthday to him.
In the meantime, my husband and I carefully track our hiding spots so that wrapping paper and presents are never found and Christmas shopping is done when my son is in school. It almost feels like a CIA operation. That's because the stakes are high. The chance of shattering my son's Christmas spirit is unimagineable, and I will do anything I can to keep him forever young.
Merry Christmas
-Barbara-
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Craigslist & College Savings
In the past, when I sold my boy's belongings (high chair, stroller, toys, clothes, etc.) on Craigslist.org, all proceeds went to his college account. Seems fair. They're his things, so he should get the money. Also, into his account, we deposit all of our loose change and any unexpected money we receive (refund from the insurance company, rebate checks, etc.). From all of this, his account has close to $3,500. Not bad!
BUT...now that we have TWO children, what do we do? Do we split the account? Do we set up an account separate for her? But then, who gets the loose change?
And of course, now that she has outgrown a number of her baby clothes, I want to post them to Craigslist for another mom to use. However, because times are tough, and because it's the holiday season, I have decided to post them for FREE. After all, many of her clothes were passed to us by a friend who has two baby girls. I figure the benefit to a needy mom outweighs the $100 I could make off of them.
What do you think? Do you give away your baby items? If no, you should consider it. The gratitude of others will make your spirit bright! And it's easy on Craigslist.org. When I post the items under the FREE category, they are gone within minutes. It's unbelievable.
Have a nice, charitable day!
-Barbara-
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